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Joke of the Day

"How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You wave hello!"

"scientist: he's going to be identical to you in every way me: every way? [my clone trips stepping out of the machine] holy shit"

"As soon as I get to a party, I start saying goodbye; that way I'm out of there within 4 hours."

"If Jesus could see the way some Christians act today He'd be rolling in his grave"

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A Fsh"

"""it looks like one horny mother fucker wrote this"" *holds up torch to read hieroglyphics painted on wall* ""it reads: ""can i fuck a pyramid"""

"Why doesn't Barbie have kids? Cause Ken cums in another box..."

"I'm not sure who's more drunk, me or the guy wrapped in Christmas lights standing in the mirror."

"Chuck Norris can recharge his chuckPod by plugging it into a piece of cheese."

"What do you call a Frenchman that's been attacked by a bear? Claude"