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Joke of the Day

"Went to the moon for dinner last night Good food No atmosphere"

"Kanye West builds a time machine so he can interrupt himself interrupting Taylor Swift."

"Me: *breaks down door Wife: WTF ARE YOU DOING? M: HOME INVASION! W: OMG stop breaking our house when you want sex. M: Soooooo W: No"

"If at first you don't succeed... try try being redundant."

"Computer problems can be solved with duct tape if you apply it directly to the mouth of the person asking you to help fix their computer."

"Isis are planning their next move. They should start by putting their heads together."

"Five Guys isn't the same when only 3 of them are working."

"Maggi is the girlfriend of the food world. It says 2 minutes but never gets ready in less than 20 minutes."

"And then alcohol said ""Put that on facebook, it's hilarious."" But alcohol was wrong. So very wrong."

"Vegetarians and vegans are admirable ...... but cannibals are the real humanitarians."