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Joke of the Day

"Kanye West builds a time machine so he can interrupt himself interrupting Taylor Swift."

"Went on ChristianMingle .com and kept asking myself, ""Who Would Jesus Do""?"

"CNN has confirmed that aliens might actually be involved in the disappearance of Flight 370. At least two illegal immigrants were caught on camera boarding the plane."

"I hate combing my hair... It reminds me of what I did to everyone else: Let them down."

"(child accidentally being born in butcher shop) Shirtless mother: what should we name him? Father: um..*looks around room* a..bra...ham"

"I am the designated driver of 5 40ish women attending a wine tasting. Your thoughts and prayers are appreciated during this difficult time."

"What can you hunt for in the wild as well as in your wallet A couple bucks"

"What's the difference between Elliot Rodger and an egg? [x-post from r/4Chan] An egg gets laid before it cracks. [Source:](http://i.imgur.com/L4kXpw8.jpg)"

"I can see 4 years into the future! You can say I have 2020 vision"

"A roast beef walks into a bar... Bartender says ""Hey! Get the hell out of here! We don't serve food here"""