191994

Joke of the Day

"Isis are planning their next move. They should start by putting their heads together."

"Why is the vagina also called pussy? Because, when the chick gets aroused, it gets all sticky, like it has pus in it. Get it? Pus-sy."

"A little bit of me dies every time I see one of you post a quote that you obviously don't actually live by."

"What did the sick waiter say when his manager asked him if he could come into work? I can't wait."

"The homeless problem would be solved if. . . . . the Big Issue had tits in it."

"In my most recent study, Ive found that saying ""I'll have a chicken pot pie, extra pot"" to KFC employees gets a laugh 4 out of 10 times."

"What is the #1 cause of paedophilia? Sexy children."

"Every time I drive past a hitchhiker I feel kinda bad thinking maybe they're just liking my status."

"Are you on a date with me or with your phone? Just make sure that phone pays your share of this bill by the end of the night."

"Can we please stop referring to them as ""dick pics."" I think ""penis portraits"" has a classy je ne sais quoi appeal."