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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard about corduroy pillows? They're making headlines."

"What does an Italian... What does an Italian have when one arm is shorter than the other? A speech impediment. AY!"

"What's a pirate's favorite amino acid? Aaaaaaaarrrrrginine...."

"What do you call a cow's mate? Its significant *udder*."

"McDonalds should have a 3rd window where you can trade in the wrong stuff that they gave you at the 2nd window."

"Why did the geneticist get into advertising? Sex Cells"

"Just got a temporary tattoo. Now I can't be buried in a Jewish cemetery for the next three days."

"Why does Dr. Pepper come in a can? Because his wife died."

"I was talking with my girlfriend on Skype the other night... ...and she told me this really, really terrible joke. I mean, it wasn't even remotely funny!"

"How many billionaires does it take to create a superhero? Three: two to die and one to never get over it."