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Joke of the Day

"how to you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? you wave at her."

"""Dad, what's the difference between love and lust?"" - Well, ya know your teddy bear? ""I love it"" - While you're at school, the dog lusts it."

"I saw a bumper sticker today..... I saw a bumper sticker today that said, ""My child has more chromosomes than yours (:"" .....what a retarded sense of humor"

"Set my phone to change K to Okay!! so I don't look rude. Now it looks like I'm all excited about stupid shit, and I'm Okay!! with that."

"If you try to rip somebody's head off, I suggest you train for it first. If you don't succeed it makes the following few minutes awkward."

"What do you call a chicken that has passed on? A poultrygheist."

"GENIE: you have 3 wishes ME: i wish for one more wish G: um...ok...your wish is granted. you now have 3 wishes M: aweso- wait, what"

"A woman walked into a pub and asked the barman for a double entendre. So he gave her one"

"Why did the cook go to jail? For beating the eggs and whipping the cream!"

"Facebook is not all about likes and shares. . . Like and share if you agree."