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Joke of the Day

"I've started picking up dudes by walking into Starbucks and ""accidentally"" dropping my recipe for bacon tacos."

"The awkward moment when you're wearing Nike's and can't do it."

"What did the electrician say while swimming across a river? ""Oh my God, that's a lot of current!"""

"If the pen is mightier than the sword, lets have a dual. I'll give you the advantage; you get to use the pen."

"If TV has taught us anything, it's not to get on a boat with a man we have just started dating, for it is there that he will murder us"

"If you're wearing khaki above the waist I'm going to assume you know everything about every animal."

"""White Purr!"" - Ku Klux Kat"

"job interview tip: show up wearig the exact same thing as ur interveiwer, whispre ""dress for the job u want, right?"" then just stare at them"

"Did you hear about the movie ""Constipated"" ??? I heard it hasn't come out yet"

"What did the late arriving cannibal receive at the dinner party? The cold shoulder."