38993

Joke of the Day

"I have an irrational fear that I'm accidentally making up words. I don't want to be misunderstandable."

"Have you heard of Eats Unwanted Leftovers Man? He's the hero this city feeds"

"I changed my password to ""incorrect"". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say ""Your password is incorrect""."

"What do you call a Jihad male cow? Abominable"

"""Sorry, but I can't sell you cigarettes. It hasn't been 18 revolutions around the sun since you descended from your mother's vagina."""

"How do you get an elephant across a busy freeway? take the 'f' out of free and the 'f' out of way..."

"A man's falling from the 50th floor of a skyscraper. When he gets to the 15th floor, he looks down and says, ""So far so good."""

"A man is throwing out a vacuum cleaner... Another man, walking by, asks, ""Is that thing no good?"" ""Well,"" says the first man, ""it doesn't suck."""

"I called my boss and told him ""the roads are blocked so I'll be redditing from home today"""

"NEMESIS: i hate you ME: i hate me too. and the enemy of my enemy is my friend NEMESIS: so can you stay the night? ME: i'll ask my mom"