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Joke of the Day

"I have an irrational fear that I'm accidentally making up words. I don't want to be misunderstandable."

"ME: I think I have a get out of jail free card COP: this is a do 1 jail sentence get the next sentence 50% off & it's for our other location"

"It's bad enough when the little voices in my head talk to me. But now they are texting."

"A cowboy goes into a shop to buy condoms Cowboy: ""Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."" Cashier: ""Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"" Cowboy: ""Nah.. She's purty good lookin'....."""

"Less well known than Ernest Hemingway's ""A Farewell to Arms""... is his sequel, ""Oh Hello Arms I Didn't Think I'd See You Again"""

"What did the man without a voicebox say to the person next to him?"

"Another blonde joke A professor told his class: ""Fame will come to you only after you succeed!"" A blonde asked, ""Who is 'Seed'?"""

"Liquids with high viscosity... Why can't liquids with high viscosity get insurance? They resist Flo."

"People who say they're in the best shape of their lives are usually about to die."

"What do you call an detective's glasses? Inspectacles"