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Joke of the Day

"Less well known than Ernest Hemingway's ""A Farewell to Arms""... is his sequel, ""Oh Hello Arms I Didn't Think I'd See You Again"""

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"I put on one of those things that prevents me from ever having children. A shell suit."
"LGBT Girl Scout Leader Arrested She was thrown in jail for eating Brownies."
"A guy cat calls a girl ""Hey, what's up girl?"" ""My eyes."""
"A hot girl goes to confession She says ""father, I had sex out of wedlock"" The priest says ""pics or it didn't happen"""
"How do you send a dog to space? Laika boss."
"1) Second. 2) Minute. 3) Hour. 4) Day. 5) Week. 6) Month. 7) Year. 8) Decade. 9) Century. 10) Millennium. 11) Women buying clothes."
"When I was young I wanted to date a doctor for money. Can you believe how superficial I was?!? Now I would date him for the prescriptions."
"What is the most popular vehicle in South America? They drive alpacars."
"I lost my mood ring... I lost my mood ring. I don't know how I feel about this."