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Joke of the Day

"A cowboy goes into a shop to buy condoms Cowboy: ""Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."" Cashier: ""Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"" Cowboy: ""Nah.. She's purty good lookin'....."""

"What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on the floor Matt"

"Biochemists at Chipotle have discovered a way to defeat ISIS militants without any civilian casualties Free Burrito Bowls."

"Acorns must come from France. That would explain the tiny berets."

"How to tell if she's odd... ...she can't even."

"If my name was Dave I'd text my friends today saying ""IT'S FRIDAVE! LET'S PARTY!"". They'd be sick of me by Tuesdave."

"Did you here about the circus fire? It was in tents."

"Some girl just asked me if she was wearing too much makeup. I told her it depends on whether she's going to kill batman or not."

"I wonder if my dog gets embarrassed when I give him kisses in front of other dogs at the park."

"So you're all Obama fans now? Name 3 of his albums."