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Joke of the Day

"*Hits Rock Bottom* Dwayne Johnson: I have a boyfriend."

"those damn vegans still drinking water?!?! That's a fish's house, you nasty savages!!"

"How do astronomers organize a party? They planet."

"What's grey and comes in quarts? Elephants"

"When I die I want my remains poured out of an airplane over the Grand Canyon. But don't cremate me. Just dump my body on some tourists."

"*enter password* *wrong* *wrong* *wrong* *reset password* ... *new password can't be the same as old password*"

"So Twilight jokes - What does a vampire call a used tampon? A teabag."

"What do you call it when a lizard cums? Busting a newt"

"Dark chocolate tastes like chocolate that started doing CrossFit."

"My friend doesn't like being called Squidward. He told me, ""But I hate SpongeBob..."" I said, ""That's the spirit!"""