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Joke of the Day
"What's the main ingredient in a Jedi martini? Qui-Gon Gin"
Next Joke
"What kind of parasites do gangstas get? Thug Lice."
"I'm allergic to Everclear. It makes me break out.. Into handcuffs."
"An Irishman walks out of a bar. Badum, ssssshhhhhhh"
"Parenting is great if you want to relive every moment from your childhood when your parents got mad at you - from your parents' perspective."
"I love that the news bleeps swears. ""Sorry you heard a bad word during our footage of a firefight that ended with a guy being burned alive."""
"Roses are black... ...Violets are black, Everything is black, I'm Ray Charles."
"I feel like a lot of single women have been naming their cats Adele this year."
"I came home to find my apartment covered in feathers and egg.... ... I think I've got a poultrygeist!"
"My 4-year-old thinks the 5-second rule means she can eat anything off the floor if she waits 5-seconds first. That M&M was from last Easter."