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Joke of the Day

"I love that the news bleeps swears. ""Sorry you heard a bad word during our footage of a firefight that ended with a guy being burned alive."""

"When I see a guy sleeping on an unfolded cardboard box, I never know if he's homeless or just tired from breakdancing."

"This cop is driving so fast it's like he's trying to keep up with me"

"Just flew in from a masturbation convention... Man my arm is tired."

"The groom was furious and told me I was a terrible best man. I was speechless."

"How do you make an Italian deaf? Tie their hands behind their back."

"I see your childhood joke and raise you mine: What object crashes the most? A kaleidoscope!"

"What do you call a microscope that when you look through it you see really bad things? A horoscope."

"Mother: How was your first day at school? Son: It was all right except for some man called ""Teacher"" who kept spoiling all our fun!"

"How does the moon get a haircut? Eclipse it"