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Joke of the Day

"Cats are like rapists My cat is a lot like a rapist. He has no concept of the words ""Stop"" and ""No!"""

"One of the most effective forms of birth control is assembling furniture together as a couple."

"Did you hear about the Hipster that drowned in the canal? It wasn't mainstream."

"Parallel lines have so much in common... It's a shame they'll never meet"

"Pinterest could've been an amazing dating site. If the project ideas came with men to do them, there wouldn't be a single cat lady left."

"What's the best joke you ever heard? For me, it's gotta be Emo Phillips' Baptist joke. Although to tell it you've gotta get his execution down."

"Any day now Trump and Pence are going to pull off their masks and reveal that they're Kang and Kodos from The Simpsons"

"I went downtown today. I was really surprised to see that the stationary store had moved locations"

"Knock knock...... Who's there? One Two. One Two Who? THAT'S ONE TO MANY QUESTIONS OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR"

"""She had a heart of gold."" - autopsy report"