38881

Joke of the Day

"Boss: Lunch meeting, let's go. Me: Do I have to? Boss: Free food and unlimited alcohol. Me: *moonwalks to the car*"

"What do bears take at raves? Maully."

"Circumcision jokes are.... ....pointless."

"I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet; I don't know why."

"Somewhere, a ninja watches ""I Didn't Know I was Pregnant."" An imperceptible smile creeps across his lips. ""Damn right you didn't."""

"Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys."

"What's black and smells like people? Black People"

"If you need me I'll always be stuck behind the person who doesn't know how to use the CVS self-checkout aisle."

"Wife to husband as they watch their young son playing: ""He's such a sensitive child. Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."""

"Laughter is the best medicine Dad used to say laughter was the best medicine I guess that's why some of us died of tuberculosis."