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Joke of the Day

"Deleting cookies from my browser history is fine but I'd rather delete cookies from my eating history."

"There are 11 types of people in this world... those who know unary and those who don't have fingers. :)"

"If you pretend you're skimming you can straight up throw rocks at people."

"Saw (2004, Horror): An old man gives 2 people instructions on how to walk out of a bathroom. 102 minutes."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... so you don't know?"

"Some guy just stole my wallet. He's now the poorest man in town."

"What did the pebble say to the rock? I wish I was a little boulder!"

"I'm the guy who asks for extra ketchup, notices he didn't get the extra ketchup, and says nothing further."

"Immigrants... David Cameron has said that hes going to put a cap on immigrants entering the country. I think its terrible, they should be able to wear what they want."

"What are the inhabitants of Crete called? Cretins!"