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Joke of the Day

"So I went to the doctor for my annual prostate exam today.... I asked the doctor ""Where I should put my pants?"" He replied ""Over there next to mine."""

"The entire history of athletic competition boils down to ""Hey y'all watch this!"""

"For the last time, I don't have any secret prison camps. Anyone who doesn't believe me will be sent to a secret prison camp."

"What do Terry Fox and Adolf Hitler have in common? Neither one of them could finish a race."

"What do you call a blond woman who dyes her hair brown? Her name, you asshole."

"Ancient cryptic thrice-translated self-contradictory texts are the best way to convey moral precepts."

"How does a painter support their art in this economy? Easel-y"

"I would be a bad fish. Fishermen would be like, ""omg i'm so ugly"" and I'd take the bait and disagree, instead of swimming away."

"Why did the Polish government have to finally ban water-polo throughout the country? Too many horses were drowning."

"So I'm dating this half-Korean girl... Her mother's Korean, her father's Korean, and her legs got ripped off in a car accident"