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Joke of the Day

"When God was handing out obstacles I thought he said popsicles and said I'll take one of each variety."

"Give me that! You're going to hurt yourself! *takes toy *hurts self with toy 4: Hahahaha"

"[high school] Teacher: do u have your homework? Ryan Lochte: I was murdered last night"

"What do nuns do? Nunthing"

"Rap is 75% crap"

"A new study finds marijuana users are not more likely to have car accidents. Mostly because they're usually too high to find their cars."

"I told a joke to my Jewish friends about kosher food, but they didn't like it at all... they said it was too ham-fisted."

"Why did Sally fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. ""knock knock"" ""whose there?"" ""not sally!"""

"Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day... Teach a Nigerian to phish and he'll become a prince."

"How do you know if you are a necrophiliac? You get mourning wood"