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Joke of the Day

"What is the only olympic sport that mexicans can compete in? Bordercross"

"No Linda, I CAN'T believe how early it's getting dark. After 4 billion years of this happening I was sure this would be the year it didn't."

"I used to date computer programs but that's over now My girlfriend still worries that I may go back but I reply to her ""they're just exes """

"Blonde joke What is the first nursery rhyme blondes learn in primary school? A. Hump me dump me!!"

"I put coffee in my aquarium filter. The water wasn't any cleaner, but the fish swam REALLY FAST."

"What happens when a pizzaman does an AMA on Reddit? OP delivers."

"How do call an idiot that has an assault rifle pointed at you? Sir."

"[zoo] Hey dad, where are mountain lions from? *dad panics* -Uhh...you see, son, when a mountain and a lion love each other very much..."

"him: [slipping my panties off] why are u wearing 2 pairs of panties me: I'm not him: [sliding another pair off] omg how many are u wearing"

"Mastercard Chinese Resturant Commercial General Tso's Chicken........ $11.50 Coca-Cola........ $1.99 Take out guy forgets container........ Riceless"