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Joke of the Day
"Why did Snow White buy an android phone? She thought the apple was poisoned."
Next Joke
"[bar trivia night] and remember no using your phones unless it's an emergency me: [five minutes later] hello 911? are butterflies insects?"
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bruce ! Bruce who ? I Bruce easily don't hit me !"
"Please, keep trying unsuccessfully to suck the snot back up in your nose instead of using a tissue. Everyone loves the noise you're making."
"My pooch found a great TV show for us to watch Dogter Who"
"I am so dwarf that... I am so dwarf that people don't take me seriously enough to win any competition other than stand up comedy!"
"Husband getting dressed: Me: Purple and green don't go together. Husband: It works for the Joker. Me: My point exactly."
"Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because North Korea told it not to."
"What do you get when you put your hand in a blender? A hand shake."
"what's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? beer nuts are $1.69 and deer nuts are under a buck"