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Joke of the Day

"I SCREAM YOU SCREAM WE ALL SCREAM BECAUSE MY WIFE IS DRIVING WITHOUT HER GLASSES ON AGAIN!!"

"I still occasionally fap over my ex Made a copy of the key to her place when we were together, and she's a heavy sleeper"

"There are two reasons I would never drink from a toilet Number 1, and number 2"

"No child left behind! Act of 2001, The legislation was proposed by President George W. Bush Behind what? behind the Front line. . ."

"What's the longest word in the dictionary? ""Smiles"" because there is a mile between each S!"

"I find the best way to deal with death is not to be the person who is dead."

"Why did the semen cross the road? Because I wore the wrong socks to work today."

"Pasta joke My wife laughed when I told her I was planning to bulld a car made out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!"

"If I were a werewolf I wouldn't have to chain myself up at night because I don't like going out anyway."

"Wife: He keeps his friend close so he doesn't lose him Therapist: Not a bad thing Me [yawns and a bee flies from my mouth]: Come back Alan"