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Joke of the Day

"The Insomniac by Eliza Wake"

"Request: Jokes for the sick? I have a good friend who was just hospitalized, hopefully nothing too serious. I'd love to send him a few short, clean jokes to cheer him up. Thanks!"

"I don't drink & drive I pull over."

"Why do they wear skirts in New Zealand? Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away."

"Me: Hello darkness my old friend Darkness: please stop calling me that. My name is Susan"

"I'm enthralled by curling. No, not enthralled. What's the word for interested in something, but not enough to look it up on Wikipedia? That."

"While I might feel unsure how to react, my middle finger is well versed in handling stupid people."

"All my punishment tactics against my 8 year old were in vain until I threatened to transfer her most valued Pokemon to the Professor"

"A handsome man walks into a gay bar Everyone started putting their stool in!"

"So I applied for a random volunteer job at my church I really hope I get the missionary position"