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Joke of the Day

"Why are they called dive bars? Because they have pool"

"Did you hear about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac? She lay awake all night wondering if there was a Dog."

"Winter is like your boyfriend... you know it's coming soon but you want it to hold off for as long as possible"

"Alex: This term indicates a zero score in tennis. Contestant: What is love? *dance party erupts*"

"If women do the splits, do men do the banana splits?"

"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster farmer and a prostitute with diarrhea? One shucks between fits."

"I was once blind for a couple of years... It was a very dark time in my life."

"A unicorn without testicles is called a eunuchorn"

"A black man walked into the bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bar man asks, ""Whoa, cool. Where did you get him?"" The parrot says, ""Africa! There are loads of them running around!"""

"If your girlfriend says ""my pyramid is late..."" Know two things: 1. Your hearing is poor 2. That's not your biggest problem right now"