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Joke of the Day

"Who so thelioma? Mesothelioma"

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"What's the difference between a Pilot and a jet engine? A jet engine stops whining after it lands"
"I always bring in a dozen donuts to work the first day after the New Year, just for my coworkers on a diet."
"I tried to order a Vietnamese sandwich at a restaurant today while I was walking around topless... The staff refused to serve me, and threatened to bahn mi if I came in without a shirt again."
"How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? ...pick it up and suck it's dick."
"What do you call a joke that makes fun of a woman, who has not consented to be made fun of? ...misogynistic."
"What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer? ""Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!"""
"Did you hear the one about premature ejaculation? Too soon, man."
"A man with Deja vu walks into a bar."
"UVA did something King James couldn't do.... Brought a championship to the Cavaliers!"