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Joke of the Day

"""I enjoy long walks on the bitch."" -a flea's online dating profile"

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"How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By becoming a ventriloquist!"
"Fun Fact: The human brain isn't able to register typos or grammar errors until after hitting teh Send button."
"What do you call over the counter Viagra? Mycoxafloppin"
"How can you tell if an elephant's been to your birthday party? Look for his footprints in the ice cream."
"Stepped on an action figure in the shower and simultaneously invented six new cuss words in four different languages."
"I hate looking in the mirror. Whenever I do, there is always some asshole blocking my way."
"What do you get when you cross two thieves with a carpenter ... Good Friday!!!"
"The most awkward part of meeting new people is when my kids say, ""Please help us."""
"One day, the fridge will take revenge on me, every half hour opening the door to my room, staring at me for a few minutes & then walk away."