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Joke of the Day
"Life is basically one long, terrible date with yourself."
Next Joke
"Q: How does the blond turn on the light after she has had sex? A: She opens the car door."
"People who have 'taken' in their bio, sit tight, Liam Neeson will around to collect you shortly"
"What did the buffalo say to his son who was going off to college? Bison!"
"""Your resume lists the skills 'poor timing' & 'awkward'?"" Can I have a raise? ""We haven't hired you."" Oh. You're very handsome. ""I see."""
"You know you've just had lunch with a narcissist when your neck is stiff from nodding."
"What is the cause of an increase in sexual desire in young men? Whore-moans"
"Mother: What was the first thing you learned in class? Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips!"
"How did the terrorist get into Czechoslovakia? They didn't czech his papers."
"Idk what was worse, the fact that my girlfriend text me saying ""sorry breaking up with you"" or that a minute later she text me back ""sorry wrong number."""