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Joke of the Day

"Researchers have developed a new painkiller with no negative side effects ... and no positive either."

"What is love? Baby don't hurt me."

"My friend told me I don't know what irony is... Which is ironic, because we were at a bus stop."

"Well, it's that time of year again when people come up to me with their scary face and frightening clothes with their hand held out wanting money and shit. I hate my job at the welfare office."

"You know what I hate? 1: Typing 2: Hypocrisy 3: Lists"

"Is it called zerotasking or notasking? I'd look it up, but that kind of defeats what I'm going for here."

"(Q)..... What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? (A)..... Swim."

"Did you hear about the guy who illegally downloaded Free Fallin' and Refugee? He was charged with Petty theft."

"No thank you GPS. I have this magic ring on my left hand that connects me to the nice young lady in the passenger's seat who knows everything."

"KFC now offering the Top Kill sandwich! Bacon. Cheese. Mud. Sandwiched between two oily chicken slabs served on a plate of shame"