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Joke of the Day

"friend: let's meet up soon me: *in the crow's nest of a ship docking outside your house* when though"

"Why did the lemon turn green? Because he had lime disease"

"The definition of irony... Is not knowing the difference between a definition and an example."

"What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas ? Grave-y !"

"Probably the wurst (or the best) halloween joke i have heard yet What do you call a wiener when you take out its intestines? A halloweener"

"A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer."

"[bono dressed as magician] ""think of a song any song"" purple haze ""right n- no, a U2 song"" oh ok um.. elevation? ""ok now.. check your phone"""

"A guy says to his wife ""why don't you ever tell me when you orgasm?"" She replies, ""I don't like ringing you at work."""

"What do you call a gay guy who blends in really well with his straight friends? homogeneous"

"I went on the treadmill for 30 minutes today. Tomorrow I will turn it on."