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Joke of the Day
"My marriage is based on trust. And according to my wife's lawyers, that trust is based offshore."
Next Joke
"I wondered what my parents did to kill boredom before the internet. I mean, I asked my 26 brothers and sisters and none of them had a clue."
"it's so crazy to think that, before the internet, real celebrities had to tattoo the little blue checkmark on their faces"
"Never make fun of a fat girl with a lisp, she's probably thick and tired of it."
"Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes... That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away and you'll have his shoes."
"How'd the hipster burn his tongue? He drank coffee before it was cool."
"A magician was walking down the street... ... and then he turned into a store."
"That voice inside my head has a different accent every time I read a new tweet"
"How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say ""who's special?"""
"I told my son about the birds and the bees... He told me about my wife and the mail man. I get no respect"