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Joke of the Day
"How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say ""who's special?"""
Next Joke
"Why did the melon insist on having a big wedding? Because it cantaloupe."
"Yo mama so fat... She auditioned for Gargantua in the movie Interstellar but got rejected for being too fat"
"Why were episodes 4, 5, 6 made before 1, 2, 3? Because in charge Yoda was."
"I just bought that new aftershave ""Stalker"".... It's slightly stronger than Obsession."
"Look all I'm saying is Harry Potter could have defeated Voldemort much faster with the use of drones"
"Interviewer: It says here you're skilled at saying unexpected things? Me: Yes, I am. Interviewer: Hmm, I thought you were going to say something unexpec-- oh, you're good."
"Talk is cheap. Until you hire a lawyer."
"Derek Acorah got sacked from Most Haunted for advertising bio-yoghurt in breech of his contract. That's what you get for dabbling in the Yakult."
"Forgot I started my stopwatch. It's now been 139:27.05 since I wondered how long it takes me to run five miles."