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Joke of the Day

"It's my life. I'll live it, I'll love it, and I won't care what you think of it."

"What is the best use for a wet dog?[x-post from /r/MeanJokes] Getting the smell of white people out of your house."

"Michaelangelo: Yea, sure, I'll paint your ceiling. *To himself* Errybody gon be naked tho."

"Why was Mark Fuch a terrible mailman? He keeps delivering to the wrong fuching address!"

"What's the difference between outlaws and in-laws? Outlaws are wanted"

"The seven dwarfs are in the bath, and they all were feeling happy. Happy climbed out, then they all felt Grumpy."

"Two Robins were lying in the sun when a cat ran up and gobbled them up.. ..It licked its lips and said 'I love basking robins'"

"Knock knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I painfully waited until I was done cooking your food to take a poop?"

"What does a mathematician do about constipation? Sits down and works it out with a pencil."

"How can you spot the rank of a Russian? By the stripes on his Adidas jumpsuit."