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Joke of the Day

"A woman in her seventies overhearing that I was a tattoo artist asked if I wanted to see her ""rat"" tattoo. I said sure. She revealed a bare hip and said ""Oh, I guess my pussy must have ate it"""

Next Joke
 
"Sex is like listening to the Beatles Your parents do it and it somehow doesn't make it less cool. Shout out to CH, because I heard it here."
"Why didn't the bride and groom exchange their wedding vows? TL;DR"
"I just battle rapped my 4 year-old and rhymed ""take a nap"" with ""piece of crap"" so don't tell me about your parenting skills."
"What is Hilary Clintons favorite part about going to the beach? Her Flip-Flops."
"Ah yes. I've linked my Twitter to my Wordpress, and my LinkedIn to Klout. Now it's time to interface my Acura ILX with a giant redwood"
"I think, therefore I'm single."
"I often think ""Why would anyone live in Gotham? It's a shithole!"", but then you choose to live in the shithole that is [YOUR CITY NAME]."
"What's a rabbits' favorite book? Hop on Pop."
"How does Sherlock prefer his tea? Steeped in mystery!"