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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to bed and my hair looks amazing; I feel like the woman in every mattress commercial."

"A girl walks to his boyfriend and says.... I have some good news and some bad news, and I'm gonna tell you both at the same time. Amongst all your friends, you have the biggest dick."

"Two Jews walk into a bar... they buy it."

"Who is the most popular wizard on the Internet? Har e-potter."

"What happens when the fog lifts in California? UCLA."

"What do you call a sour black man? Vinigger."

"*maintains eye contact while checking 'Dating Librarians For Dummies' out from the library."

"Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because it was dead."

"I want to date a girl who is willing to solve any disagreements with impromptu light-saber battles."

"A woman walks up to me and says ""give me 12 inches and make it hurt"".... So i banged her 4 times and hit her w/ a brick"