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Joke of the Day

"My girl friend enjoys S&M comedies. Usually slapsdick."

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"You shouldn't say mean things about the illiterate you should write them"
"Why do you give children who swallowed poison some milk? To make them happy before they die."
"Step 1: Get underwear with the Millennium Falcon on the butt. Step 2: Have the fastest hunk of junk in the trunk in the galaxy."
"I was going to be a quarterback for Halloween at work... ...but my boss said we couldn't be anything offensive."
"What did the greek cow say? "
"If alcohol kills germs and laughter is the best medicine, I'm the healthiest person on the planet."
"I really don't want to be a professional web developper Selling my <body> feels wrong."
"What do you call a meth-head that's been up for 2 weeks? A two-weeker"
"One of the greatest gifts my kids have given me is my high tolerance for alcohol."