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Joke of the Day

"My boyfriend asked for a nude pic (NSFW) My boyfriend asked for a naked picture. I asked him if he wanted to see tits or ass. He responded ""surprise me"" So I sent him a picture of my dick"

"A German man and woman are having sex, and an American walks in... The American shouts ""Gross!"" and turns away. The German man looks toward him and smiles, saying ""Danke!"""

"Today, a guy put a gun to my head and demanded a coconut-filled chocolate bar. I hate Bounty Hunters."

"A protected acct with 0 followers just followed me. Mom, is that you?"

"""How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb?"" ""It's a really obscure number, you probably haven't heard of it."""

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't come anyways."

"Nurse: Doctor this man needs an IV! Roman Empire doctor: OF WHAT? HE NEEDS 4 OF WHAT?!"

"My Dyslexic Cat thinks she has "" P "" no. of lives."

"My Buddhist friend just had root canal with no anaesthetic. He wanted to transcend dental medication..."

"How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same? Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer"