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Joke of the Day

"How did my doctor know I have minor IBS? I just asked him to edit my essay; and he said I have semi colon problems. He must be a smart guy; if he can figure that out from my writing."

"What is the name of your Russian coworker you see the next day? C. U. Tomorov"

"Skinny If fat people have more skin shouldn't they really be the 'skinny' ones?"

"A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman ""Can I park here?"" ""No"" says the cop. ""What about all these other cars?"" ""They didn't ask!"""

"I like my coffee like I like my women Ground Roasted Cream filled (For the reddit down under, long black/flat white)"

"Biology: The science of writing awesome bios."

"Me: doctor doctor I cant stop fucking farting... Doctor: *runs out the room comes back with a ten foot pole*Me: OMG!!!!!!! what are you gonna do with that??? Doctor: OPEN UP A FEW FUCKING WINDOWS"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Crispin ! Crispin who ? Crispin crunchy is how I like my apples !"

"Monica Lewinsky was recently offered a new position at a prestigious boarding school. Headmaster."

"What do you call a shirt missing its sleeves? An ampu-tee."