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Joke of the Day

"My wife wants me to take a walk with her today. I'll be on a short leash though so I won't run off into the woods like last time."

"Bowling is the perfect activity when I'm in the mood to stick my fingers in disease-ridden holes, but your mom is unavailable."

"Well, Palm Sunday was a lot more fun than 'closed-fist Monday'"

"What do you call a confused gnu? A bewildebeest."

"Hey wanna hear a fat joke? [deleted]"

"Anti-gay preacher comes to Iceland. Locals buy all tickets to his event in Reykjavik, and then don't turn up, leaving empty arena. Class."

"Why do French tanks have rear-view mirrors? So they can see the battle."

"I just failed my butcher's exam. Mis-steaks were made."

"I think I finally found your G-Spot. It's been in my wallet the whole time."

"How do you call a judge that only gives innocent veredicts because he gave up on law school and knows nothing? a quitter."