5737
Joke of the Day
"I just failed my butcher's exam. Mis-steaks were made."
Next Joke
"[15 minutes into choosing which crab from the tank to have for dinner] Date: are you crying?"
"I didn't spend 8 years designing this hotel so I could listen to a bunch of touristy complaints about the small cameras inside the toilets."
"[I open my lunchbox to find a copy of the Magna Carta] But that means... [cut to British Library patrons thoughtfully examining a Capri Sun]"
"A jumper cable walks into a bar... The bartender looks at him and says: ""I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"""
"What is the best contraceptive for old people? Nudity"
"What's the last thing they do to a Tickle-Me-Elmo doll before it leaves the factory? Give it two test-tickles!"
"I just saved a girl from rape. I stopped chasing her."
"A coworker just asked me if I was voted most likely to take a joke literally by my high school yearbook committee... That wasn't even a real superlative. I swear, this guy..."
"If you could have one super power what would it be? Cold War Russia."