196024

Joke of the Day

"I've got a great sense of humor *closes eyes and tilts head slightly upward* yes. there is humor nearby. 40, no, 50 yards from here"

"Q: When ducks fly in a V, why is one side of the V longer than the other? A: There are more ducks on that side."

"What has 4 legs and an arm? A happy pit bull."

"My mom moved me away from Texas as a kid, statistically decreasing the chance I ever get the death penalty and that's pretty cool"

"Found an old Tom Jones CD and my underwear drawer flew wide open and all my undies threw themselves at my stereo."

"I think I just invented four new yoga poses trying to get a chocolate chip that I dropped under the table."

"My husband's business is rather up-and-down - he makes yo-yos."

"Most young lives are lost not because of seat belts, but because the defibrillator needs you to sign into Facebook first."

"Joke What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? Wife: ""I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"" Husband: ""You have perfect eyesight."""

"Terminator sequels are just dialogue from the first Terminator in different order."