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Joke of the Day

"Why????? Which service would the with ask if she would check into a hotel??? THE BROOM SERVICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Auto-correct changed my ""I'm tired"" to ""shut the fuck up, you unemployed bitch""."

"I think at my age the next tattoo will be more responsible like a dragon across my back but doing his taxes."

"Maybe don't name your musical ""Rent"" if you don't even have songs that discuss real estate or leasing procedures. 0/10, very disappointing."

"Harry Potter Pickup line. Hey babe are you parseltongued cause my snake wants to communicate!"

"Little Steve runs to his mom ""Mommy mommy, other boys at school are calling me gay all the time"" Mom: ""Why don't you try calling them names too?"" Steve: ""I can't, they're so beautiful"""

"""I wish some random guy from India would DM me!"" -no girl, ever"

"oh these 2 bleeding dots on my neck? uhhh no i'm not a vampire, some crazy dude stabbed me with 2 pens. hey can you toss me a bloodweiser ;)"

"any love for Trump reversal jokes? In Obama's America, you serve the president, in Trump's America the president serves you."

"Moratorium on the word ""Awkward."" We're all awkward. We fart when we don't want to and that guy/gal over there is cooler. Get over it."