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Joke of the Day

"When I wake up at night, I reach out to you, I love you not for what you look like I love you for what you have inside. (Me to my fridge)"

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? ""ghughgugjjch"""

"A button on my car broke... Its a pressing matter."

"""It's not you, it's meat"" - vegan break up"

"The Bible wouldn't sound so preachy if every commandment was followed by the word ""dude."""

"Did you hear about the Dick that graduated from Law School? He was appointed first attorney genital."

"5-year-old: *hits her sister* Me: Keep your hands to yourself. 5: Me: 5: *kicks* Me: And your feet. 5: Me: 5: *headbutts*"

"A flying insect just flew into my kitchen and exploded. I think it was a Jihaddy long legs."

"All men are the same Said the Chinese woman who lost her husband in a crowd"

"Joke If I had a quarter for every time someone called me racist I would eventually be robbed by a black guy."