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Joke of the Day

"I bought one follower just to see what it was like and he showed up at my job and his name is Eddie and he's kind of freaking me out guys."

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"If Private Ryan was Black...it would be called..""Sorry for your loss Mrs.Ryan."""
"I bought some shoes off a drug dealer But I don't know what he laced them with because I've been tripping all day..."
"What do you do with a camel that won't move ...Camel tow it"
"Did you hear about the Mexican Train Killer? He had loco motives"
"I Just Opened An Abortion Clinic.. No fetus can defeat us"
"Turns out if you scream for no reason long enough, you get the rest of the day off from work."
"I took over 50,000 steps today by taping my fitness bracelet to my Roomba."
"I want to follow a random family around Disneyland for a day and just be in the background of all of their photos."
"TIL when nursery rhymes are playing in the car but your child is no longer in the car then the songs were probably never for him in the first place."