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Joke of the Day

"I bought some shoes off a drug dealer But I don't know what he laced them with because I've been tripping all day..."

"Some people have difficulty sleeping But I can do it with my eyes closed!"

"Don't just lay there... Move! Bounce! Do something!! ~ me, pleading with my hair"

"The Constitution has barely been altered in 200 years, but my $300 textbook is worth $0.82 bc they came out with a new edition mid-semester."

"What did 2 say to 3 about 6? Oh don't mind him, he's just the product of our times!"

"I used to be an adventurer until I took a knee to the arrow"

"[interview] Okay, don't let him know ur a vampire. ""What kind of person do u see when u look in the mirror?"" OH COME ON"

"What's the difference between a joke and two dicks? You can't take a joke."

"Asians are such bad drivers.. I'm beginning to think Pearl Harbor was an accident."

"Justin Timberlake was a devout christian during his N-Sync days. He was always reading his Bye Bye Bible."