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Joke of the Day

"If I were to remove my intestines and lay them out, they'd reach all the way to my ex-wife's house. SEE, DEBORAH? I'M A MESS WITHOUT YOU!"

"How do you turn your girlfriend into an angry pirate? Cum in a her eye and kick her in the shin."

"Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they."

"What did Hitler say when he was asked where he would like to sit? He said ""Mein Kampfy chair."""

"Yo mama so fat.... that when she sits in space-time she causes gravitational waves"

"What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come in little white crackers"

"50 Shades of Grey is also the title of the 101 Dalmatians alternate ending where Cruella wins and makes a coat out of the puppies."

"Establish dominance by licking the spoon and then putting it back in the mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving dinner."

"What did the the black boy get for Christmas? Your Bike..."

"How do you pay a bartender? With bar tender."