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Joke of the Day

"My grandfather was treated very badly by the Germans in WW2. Passed over for promotion time and time again."

"Someone told me I was obsessed with the song ""Wonderwall"". I said ""Maybe""."

"Pluto is 4.5 billion years old, but yet it is not allowed to sit at the grown-ups' table."

"The neck pillow I was using on the Greyhound bus turned out to be an adult diaper somebody left on the seat."

"The Heist A man walks into the bank with a pistol. He aims the gun at his head and yells, ""Give me the money!""."

"I just found out I had sex with a monkey in a previous life You cant blame me though because it was really long ago, and I was the first Human that wasnt fully a monkey myself."

"If you're having reception problems with your phone... Just shove an antenna up a girl's ass, then yell at her face. Then you will officially have a receptionIST!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Actually, I thought 50 Shades Of Grey was about Taco Bell meat."

"How long does it take a monkey to fly a plane from LA to New York? About 6 hours."

"I feel like a lot of single women have been naming their cats Adele this year."