194623

Joke of the Day

"The neck pillow I was using on the Greyhound bus turned out to be an adult diaper somebody left on the seat."

"How do you know which pepper in the garden is the nosiest? ... it's the one that's jalapeno business!!!"

"Have you heard what I think of windmills? Big Fan."

"Goats have it all figured out. All disputes should be settled with an aggressive series of headbutts."

"What's the temperate inside of a ton-ton? What's the temperature inside of a ton-ton? Lukewarm."

"A friend and I were playing chess, and we wanted to make things interesting. So we stopped playing chess."

"How does the modern-day James Bond prefer his women? Shaven, not furred"

"Guns don't kill people. Dying kills people."

"How awesome would it be to come home & find Bruce Springsteen sitting on your toilet?"

"I'm drowning my self in coke right now. Not the drug. The drink. Nah jk it's the drug."