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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why do blondes put rulers on their foreheads? A: They want to measure their intelligence."

"Mariah Carey That awesome performance. Update: thanks for helping me get to the front page of r/jokes"

"Two guys are walking down the street when they see a dog licking its own nuts... First guy says, ""I wish I could do that"" The other replies, ""you should try petting him first"""

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick down your throat."

"At least I now know why the lions leave the plains before the end of summer. Because the Pride goeth before the Fall."

"I can only handle girls that are a 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, or 10 on the hotness scale. Cause 7 ate 9 so they're probably not interested in me."

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None. Feminists don't change anything."

"[arcade] KID: dad, some guy is hogging the claw machine DAD: hey buddy, why don't you give the kid a turn LOBSTER: BACK OFF WE'RE IN LOVE"

"What do 1% of racist people do? They are making clubs like the KKK The other 99% are hidden here making bad jokes"

"I think my grandmother has been spying on me in my bedroom. She told me I have a lot of spunk!"