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Joke of the Day

"[arcade] KID: dad, some guy is hogging the claw machine DAD: hey buddy, why don't you give the kid a turn LOBSTER: BACK OFF WE'RE IN LOVE"

"My favorite sex position is solely based on how bad your breath is."

"Two guys are drinking at the country club bar... First guy says, ""Hey, you want to go play some golf?"" Second guy says, ""No, not today."" ""Why not?"" ""Because I never drink and drive."""

"What's a panda's favourite drink? Bambooze"

"How do pigs gets to hospital? In a hambulance"

"Harry Potter was walking down a hill jk rowling"

"There are 30 cows. 28 chickens. How many didn't? 10"

"is actually feeling pretty okay about not accomplishing anything this year."

"My girlfriend says her doctor said no sex for 2 weeks ..ahh oh k but what your dentist say..!"

"Sent my husband to work with leftovers from dinner last night. His co-workers are going to be so jealous of his bowl of cereal."