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Joke of the Day

"See those guys? They apply ordinary grammatical structure and natural flow of speech, rather than rhythmic structure. They're real prose."

"If horses could talk I reckon they'd mostly just say 'Get off me'."

"I know weathermen get excited about snow, but it's kind of distracting when they jerk off during the forecast."

"I don't trust stairs... They look like they're up to something."

"What's the difference between going into a sewer system and the government buildings? They're both full of shit, but the government's got more assholes."

"Whats the difference between Santa Clause and me ? Santa Only Cums Once A Year"

"People say that money is not the key to happiness... ...but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. - Joan Rivers"

"What do you call Apple's next beauty product? The iLiner."

"Daffy-nition for indefinitely... .... ... Indefinitely (adv.) In def in it lee .... .... .... When your balls are slapping up against her ass you're in definitely!"

"Girl I'm so sorry your parents died, was it Kony? Oh a bus accident. Was Kony driving the bus"