45657

Joke of the Day

"I bet you 5390.24$ you can't guess how much money I owe my parents."

"I caught my employee sleeping on my office couch today. I didn't know if I should fire him, or tell him what I did on it last night."

"What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? The golfer goes: thwack.... ""Oh fuck""."

"Why did the blond climb over the glass wall? To see what was on the other side."

"""Engagement"" can mean either planning to marry or initiating combat. Coincidence?"

"Kinda creepy that my kids got in a screaming match over which one is my favorite since I don't have any kids."

"I try to keep it gangster, so I just walked into the grocery store and shouted ""Scuze me! Could you direct me to the motha fuckin bakery?!"""

"Why was the cake lonely? Because he was deserted by his friends"

"Do I speak German? Nein"

"I got 99 problems and the bitch heard me call her a bitch so now I have 100."